Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Speaker A: Welcome to the YA podcast.
Lean in as we dive into the practicals of life with Jesus as spirit filled young adults.
Well, welcome back to the Young Adults Podcast season five. As you know, we're talking about discipleship and we've had the privilege of hearing lots of different people's stories, their unique experiences and journeys with the Lord, their testimonies and how they've been discipled through various seasons of their life. And today I'm joined by a very special guest, Pastor Candice Aline. Hi.
[00:00:48] Speaker B: Say hello.
[00:00:49] Speaker A: Why don't you introduce yourself, tell us a little bit about who you are.
[00:00:53] Speaker B: Yeah, sure.
I've been married 15 years to my husband, Steve Alphine and two boys. Very cheeky, very full of energy.
A nine year old and almost seven year old.
[00:01:06] Speaker A: Wow. Growing up pretty fast, eh?
[00:01:08] Speaker B: And we live down the bayside near the beach, which is fun, but not in winter. It is cold.
[00:01:14] Speaker A: The wind would be crazy. Yeah, yeah.
[00:01:16] Speaker B: That's where we go. Avoid the beach.
[00:01:18] Speaker A: Yeah. And you guys are the pastors of Nima South?
[00:01:21] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:01:21] Speaker A: How long have you been leading there?
[00:01:23] Speaker B: We just hit three years in May.
[00:01:25] Speaker A: Wonderful.
[00:01:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:26] Speaker A: Wow. It's so exciting. I love hearing about what you guys do. Such a community feel and.
[00:01:31] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:01:31] Speaker A: Such a great community.
[00:01:32] Speaker B: You have to come visit.
[00:01:33] Speaker A: Yeah, I love. I came once and you called me out from the crowd. That was a bit scary.
No, that was fun. But we love you guys and we're so honored to have you and to have Nima south, like, represented in our podcast as well. So thanks for coming.
[00:01:45] Speaker B: Thank you for having us. This is so fun. Yeah, you're making me feel young again.
[00:01:49] Speaker A: You're. You're part of the young adults fam. You're. You're through. You're part of it. Well, let's get into the topic, which is discipleship. And I know that for everyone this means something a little bit different. And we've all got a different journey of, I guess, how we've been discipled through life and through circumstances of life. So I'd love to hear a little bit about your story, your backstory, not your testimony per se, but just. Just your journey in your walk with God thus far. I know like a little bit about your story and how you've come from a family of faith, in a sense.
So why don't you share a little bit about that and your journey?
[00:02:25] Speaker B: Yeah, sure. And it's funny using a word discipleship, because it's something that gets talked about all the time. So I love that you're really unpacking what it looks like and how it's different for all of us. But for me, I think in reflecting back on what discipleship meant for me, I was a Christian my whole life. I can't even remember a pivotal moment where I got saved. I've just always loved the Lord and being that in school, being one of the only Christians in my circle. And so having a church community was really important for me going through school and through my young adults season and you know, 20s, 30s, really, really important for me to have people around me. And I don't think like, as I've kind of unpacked it, I don't think I had necessarily specific people discipling me consistently. There were definitely seasons of people pouring in intentionally. But I think what I've noticed on reflection, particularly in my younger years, was my church community and the people around me becoming, who discipled me and me consistently showing up allowed them in. Into my world in that space.
[00:03:41] Speaker A: Yeah. So like just being surrounded by community and being faithful to the church was the thing that formed you into who.
[00:03:49] Speaker B: You are is essentially 100%.
[00:03:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:51] Speaker B: And kept me going in it and journeying the hardships of what it is to be a Christian, but also just life journey as well. And.
Yeah. So staying the course in that.
[00:04:02] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. When, when we were talking earlier you were discussing about how you had. Yeah. This sort of sense that like Sunday you go to church, that's like a non negotiable.
You keep showing up. You keep showing up. Can you talk about consistency? Can you talk about being plugged in and planted to the church?
[00:04:20] Speaker B: Yeah, I think that's been a value for my family growing up. That was just like a non negotiable that just happened. And for all those parents out there that are like go you, but it definitely embed something in your children from a very young age. On Sunday. What is Sunday? Sunday is the Lord's day and it sticks with you. I think there's such an importance of staying with Sunday being a sacred day, an important day. And the consistency of that and the community consistency of that, just showing up no matter what, no matter what you did the night before, no matter what your weeks look like, like, like that's coming to adulthood in such a big way.
[00:05:03] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so good. And how else, like how did you maintain that plantedness? Like, was it, did you, was it a life group? Was it serving? What were the things that sort of kept you grounded even when you didn't have your family?
[00:05:18] Speaker B: Yeah, I think for me, serving it was a huge one. Like, again, it obviously came from somewhere. But, yeah, serving for me is a big part of just being a part of a part of the people of the church. Always showing up, being on a roster, and just doing my part, whatever that was. I've been in multiple teams, whether it's welcoming people at the door, praying for people, doing. I remember pouring communion and communion cups, breaking all the bread.
And so for me, it was just wherever there was a need, putting my hand up to support probably kids. Ministry has probably been one I've never gotten into. But we all have a grace, we all have a call.
So I think serving in the church has just been a big part of that consistency. I often envied people that had, like, a cool salvation story. But someone once said to me, yeah, but your story is consistency. And it wrecked me because I was like, wow, I've never seen it like that. And so I think people seeing people in their surroundings that have done the course through all the waves says something.
[00:06:34] Speaker A: It does.
[00:06:34] Speaker B: And that was something of myself I hadn't seen.
[00:06:37] Speaker A: Yeah, I love that because it's. I've had a similar experience as well. Like growing up in a Christian household for so many years, especially in my teens and early adult years, I thought, oh, I don't have a testimony. It's not as good as so. And so that walked away and came back.
Comparison. Yeah, that's gonna rub your joy pretty quick. But I love that because testimonies like ours where you just keep being consistent, that shows the faithfulness of God, and it also shows the obedience of keep, like, continuing to say, yes.
And I'm. I'm hearing two things, like, just to draw out of what you're saying. One is, like, knowing your part in the body.
You know, First Corinthians 12 talks about the members of the body and how they fit together. And it sounds like you're someone who saw a need and was like, I actually need to be. I have a role to play in fulfilling this need. And recognizing your part of the body actually helps you function. Like, you know, if we think about physical body parts, the nose has no point if it's not connected to the body. It can't smell, it can't function. But when it's connected, it plays a role that helps the whole body function, but it also helps itself.
And so I'm hearing that in your story, you're helping the church function, but it also helps you and your individual, personal journey.
[00:07:54] Speaker B: And I would also just add to that, Jess. Like, I love. I love how you articulated that is that we serve in our imperfections. So it doesn't matter what season we're in, what we find ourselves in, how tired we are, what's happening in our world. We come in our imperfections because when, you know, we've hurt a part of our body, it's still connected, it's still drawing off the others and healing in its time. And there are times to pause, there are times to rest, 100% rest. And family is so important.
But being part of a church family means you stick it out together and you walk through that.
[00:08:33] Speaker A: You go through all the seasons. Yeah. And the other thing that I was reminded of as you're speaking is in Psalm 92, it says in verse 13, those who are planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God. And I just love that because I've seen you be planted and I've also seen you flourish.
And that, I mean, that's true. That's a beautiful passage, but it just represents, I think, your life really well. You guys have been coming to Nima for a very long time.
[00:09:00] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:09:02] Speaker A: How long has it been?
[00:09:03] Speaker B: That is a true story.
So my husband moved here at the end of this year. It'll be 20 years.
[00:09:09] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:09:10] Speaker B: So more than half of our life now. Please don't do the math.
And then I came three years later, so 17 years almost in this house.
And we weren't pastors straight away by any means.
Steve's been on staff for over eight years now. But for myself, like, I was just working in industry, doing my thing and serving and love, like being a life group leader. I did a women's life group at one season. We did a couple's life group in early seasons, even pre marriage. But then as a mum, I did a mother's group like life group, and I think I would say into discipleship as well. Like life changes. So who does discipleship? And that has to move with the stages and the ages and the seasons of our life. And I would just speak to anyone that's sort of like, oh, I feel like I don't have anyone, or I did, but now it's changed. I think change is so important to acknowledge because there can be grief in change, particularly in the areas of relationship and discipleship and what that looks like. But for us, even in serving, that changes. Your teams are going to change. And guess what that means. The discipleship outlook changes. I think on reflection, what I've realized is that discipleship can be functional, which means where you're functioning so you might be in this awesome connect group, sorry, connect, or whatever you guys call it, Usher teams.
And that becomes your family or your bookshop team, or like whatever you're part of, that becomes your fam and that becomes your discipleship. But that might not last for a lifetime. You may not be like some of us that are in the same team for, for a long time. It might just be a season, it might just be a year. But God will use those seasons, incredibly, to grow you, to grow fruit, to show you things about yourself that you didn't even know you could do.
So, yeah, changes, the constant changes.
[00:11:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
We've experienced lots of changes in our lives and I think especially the young adult age bracket of like the 18 to 30ish. This, that's probably one of the biggest, what do you call it, like, stages of life where there's a lot of change.
Whether it's like moving out of your parents home, getting your first job, starting uni, finishing uni, getting married, having kids. Like all of that stuff can happen, not for everyone, but can happen in that period of your life.
And so speaking on change, I think is really important because I think sometimes we get a bit scared of it.
Whilst consistency and faithfulness can be difficult, there's also this sense of like, oh, I don't want change. I'm. I'm happy in my comfort zone, I'm happy with my people. I don't want, you know, these friendships to ever change or this person speaking into my life to ever change. So because you've like gone through some of those seasons, could you speak a little bit more to those people that are maybe afraid of change or a little bit daunted by that? Could you speak to that?
[00:12:22] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. And like I said, I think change is the constant.
[00:12:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:27] Speaker B: And we need to not be afraid of change. We need to not be afraid of what God's doing, doing through the change. Because if we stayed the same for the rest of our life, that would be pretty boring.
I always said I love change until multiple things changed all at the same time.
So gross. I'm like, God, what are you doing?
[00:12:48] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:49] Speaker B: But I'm just reminded in John 15 how it talks about how God loves us through pruning and he will actually prune us where. When fruit doesn't come. And so I think sometimes we think the pruning is so painful because you know what? It is. But he wants us to be fruitful. So in order to do that, change has to come.
[00:13:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:13:15] Speaker B: And so I think we need to Embrace change, but also understand the motions of change and actually go through the grief of what change brings.
Even when we're talking about discipleship. What is discipleship all about people and all about relationships. And they will change. They will ebb, they will flow throughout our lifetime. And sometimes there's God in saying goodbye to some people, sometimes good Christian people that we love dearly may have just been put in our season for a year to love on us, to grow us through something, but then it kind of fades away or just changes how we used to socialize with them. And so I think for me, just embracing that and knowing that when we're first year uni students, we're going to be with a completely different group of people than we will first year on the workforce. And our hours are going to look different, our nights are going to look different, depending on what you do. And also then commitment to church is going to have to change. So guess what? You may have to change the team you serve in. And so just acknowledging that, acknowledging how you feel in those seasons of change, having people around you that can navigate that change with you and being okay to kind of process that out with your people.
[00:14:39] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:39] Speaker B: People discipling you.
[00:14:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. This is going to be like a bit of a rogue question. So say what you. I'd love to hear what you think, but how do you. What advice would you give someone to determine the difference between, okay, what are those people that are there for a season? And then it's gonna. I'm gonna ebb and flow and go like they're gonna last and some that aren't, and the ones that are gonna stay with you through those changes and they're gonna be faithful on the ones that you can lean on. How do you even tell the difference? How would you know which people fall into which category?
[00:15:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Wow.
I think it's really leaning into the voice of the Holy Spirit, to be totally honest with you, in terms of what that looks like, because it's a great question, because I think sometimes when we have people discipling us or being in our world up close, they see all the blemishes. We've been saying at our church recently, the closer we get as a church family, guess what?
We get to see the real us.
And then in those moments, you feel like they're super too close to you and you want to push them away because they know too much.
So if we didn't listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit correctly in that, we'd be like, too close. Move away you're out and cut people off when actually they were close because God wanted to refine, grow, teach things in our lives.
So I think we need to understand the importance of the seasons. And it may sometimes it's important that people pour life into us, particularly for some of us that are in ministry where we want to be able to have those moments where we're having life poured into us, not feel like we're giving out with people that are discipling us, because that's what we do.
But for those that are even just serving in church, we're all in ministry. We all are called to love people. And you know what that is? Work.
Because people are imperfect and we rub each other the wrong way and it's so fun.
So I would just be listening and also getting advice around it, but only in a select crowd because then that becomes gossip, right? Of like, I'm sensing this, it feels a little bit different. God, what are you saying?
And I think also sometimes I've actually asked the Lord, I feel like I want to have a conversation with this person about where our relationship is. Can you make a way? Yeah, that's good for us to have a one on one chat when I meet them next and you lead the conversation and sometimes it just doesn't happen. So you're like, okay, Lord, Well, I think that's you saying that I need to be okay with our friendship not being where it was and we need to talk things out in a different context. So in short, it would be leaning into the Holy Spirit, prompting and having people close around you to kind of decipher those seasons. But yeah, it's a really good question. We could spend the whole rest of the podcast on that.
[00:17:43] Speaker A: No, I think, well, what you said is awesome because I've experienced a lot of that, of going, oh, I don't know if this relationship is like at where it should be or if this person's still speaking into my life or it feels like they've drifted or any of those things. And my natural personality tendency is I want to talk about it straight away. Like I want to deal with this issue up front. And sometimes that's not helpful for the other person. So exactly what you're saying, leaning into the Holy Spirit is, is this the time in this space? Would you create, if it's of you, would you create a space for this to happen? And he always does, you know, when, when those conversations need to be had. I do feel the Holy Spirit creates space for them. And when they don't need to be had he just redirects us.
[00:18:24] Speaker B: Yeah. And I'm a bit big advocate of communication.
[00:18:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:28] Speaker B: I think we've been doing a whole series on unity in. Through discipleship and crucial conversations.
[00:18:35] Speaker A: Cool.
[00:18:35] Speaker B: And talk to people like the Bible asks us to. And it's, let's be honest, like it's not fun. Conflict is gross.
[00:18:44] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:45] Speaker B: But I think God grows us through like those seasons of pruning and having to be like God, this is so hard. Can you help us with this? Can you help us walk through? Because the goal and the heartbeat behind it all is love.
[00:18:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:59] Speaker B: Which is his heart.
[00:19:01] Speaker A: That's got to be the motivation.
[00:19:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: Is it is love. And also knowing that the Father has a plan and a purpose for us. He has our best interests at heart in the. At the end of the day, like that's what we're moving towards. We're moving towards maturity in Christ. And so these difficult conversations changes whatever. It's like nothing catches God off guard. Nothing surprises him. And so he will work those things together for our good. Romans 8, 28. He works all things together for our good. And so he uses even those difficult seasons, even those changes that grief, all of that stuff to form us. So having that sort of long term mindset of this is where I'm going will help us to go through those moments and those seasons of change and of difficulty because we know ultimately where we're going. Does that make sense? Yeah.
[00:19:54] Speaker B: I love that. And you just reminded me also of my best friends in my world.
Like one of my best friends I was in high school with and I've known since I was 12 years old. And she's still one of the best friends in my world.
So I think there can be change around the stability of consistency. But our friendship hasn't looked the same the whole way through. When I met her, she wasn't even a Christian.
Now she's working full time in ministry.
[00:20:24] Speaker A: That's incredible.
[00:20:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Mum, boss, girl, boss.
But there's some women that have come into my life a year ago and that have become very up close and very real and consistent in this season.
But also what I love about it is it's not threatening my other friendship somewhere old enough and mature enough to watch our friends have other friends and not be threatened by that and grow through that. Because we have friendships for various reasons. And I say that all to say friends are a big part of our discipleship.
[00:21:03] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a. One of the major factors of discipleship is friendship because we do have those People that can be older than us or in a more spiritually mature or whatever. And it's like they can come from a certain, how do I put this? Like, yes, an angle, like almost a professional relationship. And there's a place for that. But I also think there's definitely even more so a place for the friendship. Discipleship.
[00:21:29] Speaker B: I think both and in our lives are really important and I would say as well, intentionality with discipleship is so important. I think in the last probably six, seven years I've asked myself, well, who's discipling me? I'm discipling a lot of people, but who's feeding into me and being really intentional about going inside the church, but also outside the church, within other churches, within other communities. To have people discipling me and being intentional? Well, it's no one else's responsibility, it's actually mine to make sure I find people that are gonna pour in. And so I would encourage you guys to look around your church circles, look around your friends church circles, look around, you know, other areas in your world and actually tap someone on the shoulder that's that little bit ahead are you in age and stage and say, hey, could we have a coffee? I think if we don't in our generation start doing that to the older generations, we're going to miss this incredible God ordained opportunity to hear from the older generations.
[00:22:41] Speaker A: Yeah. And they like that is a major thing on my heart that they have so much to reveal to us in God of God's heart. So, so many testimonies for us to hold on to, so much encouragement and inspiration. Like literally just before this podcast is a beautiful woman that volunteers in our church every Wednesday and she comes and gives her time and every now and then I just have a passing conversation with her. She's sitting in the office doing her thing. And even just this morning she shared a testimony of her life. And I was just sitting there thinking, thank you God, for an example of someone that is, you know, quite a bit older than me, but can share their story of how they've encountered God's faithfulness throughout her life and how she walked away but the Lord never left her and drew her back. And that testimony builds my faith that, that disciples me. Even if it's a five minute conversation that disciples me that forms me. Because then I'm going, oh, God is faithful to me through every season. Now when I think, oh, I'm not good enough today, I can be reminded of her story. I can be reminded of.
And that's why we need that's why we need everyone.
[00:23:48] Speaker B: Good. And I think in their humility.
[00:23:50] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:23:51] Speaker B: They're not wanting to tap us on the shoulder and be like, hey, I've lived a lot. Do you want to know about it? We actually need to be big enough and say, I see something in you.
I want to know a bit about how you got here.
And be intentional with praying for someone.
[00:24:08] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:24:08] Speaker B: For those of you that are listening, that are like, I want that, like I want that, pray for it and see what God does. And suddenly in church you'll see like this highlight of this person in church and God's asking you to go and tap them on the shoulder and ask them for a coffee.
And some of my best friends, so Steve and I have a couple that actually married us 15 years ago and we've kept in close relationship with them through that time. They're 40 years our seniors.
[00:24:36] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:24:37] Speaker B: And we would count them some of our best friends.
[00:24:40] Speaker A: That's amazing.
[00:24:41] Speaker B: And we've done life together through pre kids, through early marriage and had so much fun together. We laughed together and just listening to their stories in the times where we're going through major changes or decision times or even just we moved overseas for a season.
They went through all those journeys with us. And so it. But it took us actually asking, it took us actually investing and asking questions. And so I think we have a responsibility in our generations to ask the older generations to help. They've got so much to give. But I would, I would assume that some of them think they don't have enough to give because of what technology brings now and what that whole realm brings. They're like, what would I know? They know faithfulness, they know the word, they know what doing life hard and staying on the courses. And yeah, I hope that encourages someone.
[00:25:40] Speaker A: And those are the things that we're not going to find online. You know, there's a millions and millions of great podcasts and preaching and, you know, social media influences and we have access to a lot. But what we're not going to find access to online and in those spaces that we generally find ourselves is people like that. And that's why we need church community.
Our generation, I believe Gen Z is the most disconnected generationally and the most connected geographically. So internationally, I should say so hypothetically, someone who, an 18 year old in Melbourne is more connected to, to an 18 year old in India than they are to their own grandparents.
So there's this disconnect even in our immediate community which the church offers us that opportunity to connect with These people. And what you're saying is, take the initiative. Go find them. And I would encourage, even add to that. Don't just go to your pastors. Don't just go to the obvious people, but have your eyes out for who's. Who's that beautiful man or woman that's been serving on the usher team for 25 years that will. I mean, we've got one here that will shake your hand every Sunday morning.
[00:26:50] Speaker B: So much and just be so faithful. Yeah. And they're great storytellers.
[00:26:56] Speaker A: Yeah. Just make sure you've got time to listen to their story.
[00:26:59] Speaker B: Exactly. Absorb it. It's amazing. I love that.
[00:27:03] Speaker A: That's so good.
Yeah. Well, we're coming towards the end of our time, but was there any other things that you wanted to share from your story or any other pieces of a wisdom? You're a woman of wisdom, so is there any other pieces of wisdom that you wanted to share with our listeners before we wrap up?
[00:27:20] Speaker B: No, nothing I can really think of off the top of my head. I think I would just say stay the course.
[00:27:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:27:26] Speaker B: Stay connected, stay planted, stay in community.
And if there's areas that bring conflict, deal with them and don't let them fester, don't ignore them, actually draw them in.
Because church family is built by people that do real life together. Sharpening each other. You know, iron. Sharpening iron, as we talk about is not fun. It hurts.
And we make it up as this thing that's like, so good. Use it for men's ministry and all the things. Actually sharpening iron is not fun.
[00:28:00] Speaker A: And it's painful.
[00:28:02] Speaker B: It is. It's super painful. And so I think what we're, like, noticing in our context at the moment is we're helping people learn how to have crucial conversations and having to say, when you said that, it actually really hurt me, what did you mean by that? And asking great questions. So I would just encourage you that when you've been through seasons of pain in relationships, to actually go and ask the great questions. It doesn't mean they're going to stay your best friend forever or be in that circle with you forever, but it means that you can go to sleep at night knowing that you did your part and you loved well on exit, no matter what God has in store for that relationship or the new ones to come.
[00:28:48] Speaker A: That's awesome. I love that. It's a great piece of advice to end with. So as we come to the end of our time, would you pray over all of our listeners? Would you impart this faithfulness and this consistency that you've spoken about and just pray that over our community.
[00:29:03] Speaker B: I would love to.
[00:29:04] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:29:07] Speaker B: Well, Holy Spirit, we ask you to come right now in this moment. You've been with us, but we just want to acknowledge you right now.
Holy Spirit, come.
I just see people in their cars driving and wherever you might be, you might have your earphones on as you're at work or whatever your situation, God sees you, he hears you, he knows the burden of your heart, the cry of your situation and that you're longing to do life with people. And so God, I just pray for those that are feeling lonely in this season, that are feeling like they want to have more Christians surrounding them so they can walk the walk or they may even be finding Christian life really hard right now and wanting to throw in the towel. If that is you, I just want to encourage you that God hears you, he sees you and he's drawing you unto himself. He loves you so much.
And so God, I just pray for a real.
Yeah, just a boost in our listeners spirits, Lord, to do the right thing in the hardest thing, which is consistency and just showing up some mornings when their alarm goes off and they don't want to get out of bed or even coming to church can feel hard. God, I just pray for reviving in this spirit, Lord, a new spring in their step, Father, for what you are trying to do in their life. Let them see what you see, Father, I just pray for new glasses in the spirit, for them to see themselves the way you see them, Lord.
And I just pray for those that are wanting to be discipled by someone that little bit further along from them, Lord, I just pray that you reveal to them exactly who they're to tap on the shoulder at church or in their world, God, that you actually encourage them in this space. Lord, we thank you that we are surrounded by so much wisdom in our worlds, God. And we just ask for you to really take off the lid of generations speaking into generations. We love the multi generations, Lord, and we thank you for what you have birthed in each of them. We can't do without each one. And so Father, I just thank you for this time and pray a blessing over each of us.
Amen.
[00:31:31] Speaker A: Amen. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for bringing that prayer that was so beautiful and thank you so much for giving your time and being on this podcast.
[00:31:39] Speaker B: So much fun. Thank you for having me.
[00:31:41] Speaker A: Yeah, it's been fun and I believe it's been such a blessing to our listeners. So yeah, we look forward to having you guys listening to the next episode and we'll see you soon, Sa.
