Communication, Offense & Speaking the Truth in Love

[00:00:02] Speaker A: Welcome to the YA podcast. Lean in as we dive into the practicals of life with Jesus as spirit filled young adults. [00:00:27] Speaker B: Well, hello there, Numa young adults. We are back for another episode of our podcast. I am here. My name is Emily Dean. I am here with Jessica Caruana, the one and only incredible young adults Pastor. [00:00:41] Speaker A: She's back. [00:00:43] Speaker B: Amen. Amen. Now today we are back and we are going to be talking about an amazing topic, the topic of communication, topic of relationship, topic, topic of how we steward our lives and our lives with those around us. [00:01:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:00] Speaker B: So Jess, why don't you introduce the topic a little bit more, share a little bit more of the heart around it. And we're just gonna have a living room conversation that will hopefully hold some, some gold in it, some practical tools and wisdom from both experiences that we've had and parts of this that we've lived. And hopefully you'll come out with some practical tools of how to have hard conversations with people, how to those around you in the way that you talk and communicate and how to build relationships, healthy relationships through that. [00:01:34] Speaker A: Yeah, great. I think you've introduced that so well. I think the reason why I want to have this conversation is because we all, we're all made for relationship. We're made for connection. And that happens through the primary vehicle of communication and the way that we communicate. Obviously we're going to be talking mostly about our words today. It's obviously a lot bigger than that. But the importance of powerful and honest communication is foundational to relationship. Now when I think about this, I think about ultimately from the beginning of creation, even before God created the world, he existed in relationship and he spoke life into being and he created us in his image. And then all throughout the, the history of the world, all throughout the biblical account, we can see that God has been communicating with humanity. Yeah. Both in love and in correction. And that's not separate from love, of course, but both in, in gracious speech and in blessing, but also in moments where he had to call things out that weren't right and to bring divine alignment. And so if we look at a God that is willing to communicate to us when out of ultimate love, when sometimes it hurts and sometimes it feels really good in the moment that that same God that we're created in the image of is asking us to also have the kind of relationships where we can healthily communicate with one another, both through encouragement and through correction. [00:03:14] Speaker B: That's so good. It's so true. And I think when we come back to who God is, it Always anchors us in that we do. [00:03:22] Speaker A: Yes. [00:03:23] Speaker B: Because he is who we base our identity on. [00:03:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:25] Speaker B: And when we look at the restorative nature of God and the way he had a plan to restore us in relationship to him through Jesus Christ. And if Christ is now our identity, we now have the responsibility to live out that identity, but in relationship with each other. [00:03:42] Speaker A: Great. [00:03:43] Speaker B: And so how we steward our relationships with one another, how we have conversations, they are all to reflect Christ and our responsibility as ambassadors of reconciliation. [00:03:54] Speaker A: Yes. [00:03:54] Speaker B: To restore people both to God and to each other. And we know in scripture it talks about how we do our relationships with others and how we love others is so important because it will reflect Christ. And I think it's in John, John 13, verse 34 to 35, a new command I give to you. Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you and my disciples, if you love one another. And I think how we love one another in our relationships. And we have hard conversations when we don't agree. I think it's so easy to. For things to look like, you know, strong relationships happen if everybody just agrees on everything all the time. [00:04:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:04:40] Speaker B: But the reality is, is that unity comes when maybe there's disagreement or maybe there's things you've had to work through. [00:04:46] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:04:47] Speaker B: But it's how we steward our words, how we come to each other, how we have hard conversations that actually displays love and that restoration in relationships, when things come across our paths that maybe cause a rupture in relationship. [00:05:02] Speaker A: Yes. [00:05:02] Speaker B: That cause misunderstanding or offense or whatever it could be. How we approach that then in love represents our identity and God. [00:05:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:15] Speaker B: To those around us. [00:05:16] Speaker A: Yes. [00:05:17] Speaker B: And so it's so important how. How we use our tongue and how we approach having those hard conversations. We do well. [00:05:23] Speaker A: Yeah, definitely. And you hit on something beautiful there. That unity is not uniformity. It's not all looking the same. But it's actually in our weakness, in our differences that we create spaces to connect with one another. [00:05:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:39] Speaker A: Because if we're just, you know, sort of whole beings that just are the same, there's no. There's no place for connection. We actually have to bring our differences for connection. So. Yeah. That's really cool. [00:05:50] Speaker B: Absolutely. Now, Jess, you obviously work in ministry as our young adults pastor, and you've had a vast experience in ministry and obviously work a lot with people. What do you think it looks like in order to. Obviously we want to operate and speak in. In love and foster healthy relationships in that way. How do we do that? How do we speak the truth in love? How do we, how do we navigate offense? How do we, what are some of the things that have kind of come up in things that you've maybe noticed when dealing with people that are quite common things that you come across? [00:06:27] Speaker A: Yeah, great question. Before I, before I answer that directly, I just want to point out Ephesians 4, verse 15. It says, I won't read the whole context, but I would encourage you to. But it says, speaking the truth in love, we are able to grow up in every way into Him, Jesus, who is the head into Christ. And I think that that's why this, this conversation of speaking the truth in love is creating opportunities for other people and for ourselves to grow up into, to mature. And if we're not having those hard conversations, we're not actually creating a space for ourselves or those we love to mature into Christ. Now the question of how have I seen this is. Well, to be honest with you, probably at least once a week I will have a conversation with someone in our, in our young adult community that has had someone wronged them or that, you know, they're hurt by a situation and they don't know how to approach it. And it's so common. I say that not to talk about myself, but just to actually reveal the commonality of difficult conversations and of people being hurt by one another and relationships being ruptured daily. It's really common in our society for people to have family members that they don't speak to, for people to have bitterness and offence. And we know as believers that we are called to a different way. We are called to an upside down kingdom. And that way is, is to foster healthy relationships. So when someone comes to me and says, oh, so and so said this and it really hurt me and it really offended me, what do you think I should do? Or when they come to me and they say, oh, this person really annoys me or something that they do, or I find myself in this situation, often my first response is always, have you spoken to them? And, and this comes from the passage in, in Matthew 18 where Jesus talks about confronting in love. Now I'll read this to you, then I'll give you a bit of context into how it applies, encourage you to read this and all of Jesus's teachings. Here we go. Matthew 18:15 says, if your brother sins against you, God go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained a brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two Others among with you, along with you. That every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Sounds pretty harsh at the end there, but. So the point of this passage is about confrontation in love. To. To go and share with someone their fault or offense. Now don't just take that and run with it. It says if your brother sins against you. And so this is understanding in the bigger picture that we're not called to judge one another. Yeah. Jesus says in Matthew 7, Judge not. Luke 6, Depends which passage. Yeah. To judge not. And you will not be judged. So we're not called to just point out people's faults. But if your brother. So if someone that you have relationship with has. Has wronged you in a way that can't be reconciled with you, like without a conversation. And if you're coming to a third party to complain about it, that to me is a sign that you haven't dealt with it in your heart. And you need to actually, it needs to be spoken out. It needs to be verbally processed. But not with a friend where you're processing, but you're actually gossiping or ranting. [00:10:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:34] Speaker A: But actually going to the person in love and gently, kindly saying, I just, like, I want to bring this up. This is an area that I was hit by now. This has got to come out of relationship. So communication and relationship are. They're twins. They both feed one another. [00:10:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:59] Speaker A: You get a good relationship through healthy communication. And you can have healthy communication when there is a good relationship. So you have to build trust over time. You have to build relationship over time. And I once had someone say, we need to build bridges, strong relational bridges, strong enough to bear the weight of truth. So are our relational bridges strong enough for me to go to that person and. And just gently correct them? Because if I do, what does the scripture say? You will. You've gained your brother. You've won the relationship. It is stronger. I personally have had, you know, I've said something out of line and a close friend has come back to me and said the same day, she just came back and was like, hey, you know, when he said that, it actually, I felt like you weren't understanding my situation. And it really hurt me. And whilst in the moment I thought, ouch. [00:11:55] Speaker B: What? [00:11:56] Speaker A: Like she's telling me off. Like, there was a response in my heart that was like, I thank God that she said that to me because if she didn't, like, that could have been a growing place for. For, you know, the breakdown of our relationship that I value so much that we've built over many years. [00:12:14] Speaker B: Totally. You want, like, you want someone who is in your world, who's close to you to come to you. Because I think even I was reflecting about this and I was like, even in different situations where I've been in leadership and I've, you know, when you deal with a lot of people, things happen and misunderstandings happen and people can perceive things wrong. [00:12:36] Speaker A: And. [00:12:36] Speaker B: And the last thing I would want is for someone to understand something wrong and think that I'm intending something or, you know, and so when somebody would come to me, I would want to. Or a good friend would come to me. My heart is not to go, oh, my gosh. Like, sorry. My heart is that I want to make sure whatever has happened I fully understand and clean up. [00:13:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:01] Speaker B: Because I don't want to there to be anything obstructing our relationship. Yeah. That was unintentional. [00:13:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:07] Speaker B: I. That I unintentionally did. [00:13:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:10] Speaker B: I want to clean that up. And so, like, my heart is also to restore. [00:13:14] Speaker A: Yes. [00:13:14] Speaker B: If someone is coming to me. [00:13:16] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:13:17] Speaker B: And so. And I think what can often happen, even when I have. When I reflect on maybe friends or someone I've been working with, who I have relationship with, and something happens that offends me if I don't address it in my heart and don't have the conversation with them, what's happened is there's a bit of trust that has been broken. [00:13:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:42] Speaker B: And if I don't address it, it actually causes me subconsciously to withhold myself from them because I don't want to show them the part of me that's hurting, that they hurt, even if they don't even realize they did it. And so in order to restore that relationship, it takes that coming to them and having that conversation in love to seek understanding. [00:14:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:06] Speaker B: And to say, hey, this is actually how my heart really is. Because if I'm holding part of myself back, our relationship's not going to flow. [00:14:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:13] Speaker B: That bridge has disappeared. [00:14:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:15] Speaker B: Truth can't go across it. [00:14:16] Speaker A: And that's built over vulnerability. [00:14:18] Speaker B: Yes. [00:14:18] Speaker A: Yeah. And so people that find themselves in perpetual cycles of destructive relationships, it's often because they haven't actually allowed themselves to be honest or they haven't held space. Yeah. For understanding. And that happens through communication. That happens through these hard conversations of allowing the other person to grow and allowing yourself to grow. It is the most loving thing to do in a loving relationship to have that conversation. [00:14:52] Speaker B: Totally. [00:14:53] Speaker A: And that's why I share the perspective, and I could share of. Of me confronting someone else. But I share from this perspective of receiving feedback and confrontation because I'm so grateful for it. [00:15:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:03] Speaker A: Stung in the moment, but most good things hurt in the moment. And then later you receive the reward of them. It was. Okay, I want to talk about the other side of when you don't have relationship with someone. [00:15:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:14] Speaker A: And. Or it's like. Or they're not your best friend. Like maybe they're an acquaintance or they're someone from afar, even like a preacher on the platform. Like someone that is sort of separate from you but has some form of influence on your life. [00:15:25] Speaker B: Yeah. That's good. Go there. [00:15:26] Speaker A: Because I think that we can. And, you know, we can get into offense and forgiveness as well, but sometimes people can say things or do things that really hurt us, and it's not our place to go and be like, hey, you shouldn't have said that. That hurt me. Not that we would approach it that way anyway. But coming to the place of forgiveness when it's not. It's not a confrontation conversation. And so something that is. That is really important for me when I have something come up of fence of any form, is ask myself the question, do I need to have this conversation with this person? And would they be able to take it? Are they in a position to receive that? If I was. The answer is no. Then what I need to do is go to the Lord and to reconcile it with him. Because ultimately, if we leave anything unreconciled, we are fostering bitterness which will only be like. I'm sure you've heard, unforgiveness is like drinking poison, expecting the other person to die. Yeah. So what I do in those scenarios, and it's been really helpful for me, is to go before the Lord and to say, God, this person really offended me. What they said was unkind. It was wrong. It was wrong. And sometimes it's wrong. And sometimes it's just that we take it the wrong way. And that's also a conversation we need to have with the Lord. This person, what they did to me was wrong. Whether it was intentional or not, help me to see what I'm not seeing. [00:17:08] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:09] Speaker A: Reveal in me, is this an insecurity that I have? Or are they hurt? Are they broken? And they're projecting that onto me. [00:17:16] Speaker B: Wow. [00:17:17] Speaker A: You know, and asking God that question, and he never fails to give perspective and to help me to even get to the point that I. I feel empathy for that person and I can pray for them and bless them. When Jesus says to bless those who curse you, I don't think he's just saying to do it flippantly, like, oh, God bless you, and you actually have hatred in your heart. I think he's saying, sit down, reconcile it with me. Wow. Come to the place where you can wholeheartedly bless them because you've dealt with your own responsibilities in your heart. [00:17:51] Speaker B: That is so good. So good. So much wisdom in that, Jess. So much wisdom. [00:17:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:58] Speaker B: But I think. I think that's the thing is, like, getting heaven's perspective. How often in our own lens of life do we interpret things rather than looking to heaven's lens? [00:18:10] Speaker A: Yes. [00:18:10] Speaker B: Like you said, like, we see some from such a limited perspective. [00:18:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:14] Speaker B: And I think God, when we open it up, when we come to God and allow him to speak into that place in our heart, because ultimately he's the one who can heal our hearts. [00:18:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:23] Speaker B: You know, and I think, like you said, there are situations where we come across things and we get offended by something and it reveals where our heart's at. [00:18:32] Speaker A: Yes. [00:18:32] Speaker B: And we need the Lord to do a deep work in us. [00:18:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:36] Speaker B: And so, yeah, I think it's coming back in humility to the Lord and saying, hey, I don't want to rush into anything. I don't want to do this out of step with you. [00:18:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:45] Speaker B: And like, it's surrendering. [00:18:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:47] Speaker B: It really comes back to self surrendering and being self aware of what is coming up in your own heart. [00:18:53] Speaker A: Yeah. That's really good. Definitely having the approach of humility. And I think forgiveness is such a big part of it. [00:19:03] Speaker B: It really is. I mean, when you look through Scripture so much in so many different places, the Lord highlights forgiveness. Even, like, I find it so interesting when in Matthew 6 at the end, like, he obviously talks through the Lord's Prayer. Right. And then he sandwiches at the end in verse 14, which is such a random place to just add on extra bits about forgiveness. But he's like verse 14, for if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. And I think there's so many instances in Scripture where he talks about forgiveness and the weight of it. [00:19:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:45] Speaker B: And like, our lives, if we reflect on our lives, we're meant to represent Christ. [00:19:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:51] Speaker B: What did we receive? Forgiveness. [00:19:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:54] Speaker B: Forgiveness of our sins, forgiveness of our Wrongdoings and grace. And so how then are we representing our lives and. And the forgiveness that God has given us and extending that to others in our relationships, in the things that we hear? And are we getting offended and bottling that up and holding that up against somebody else that has no idea we're doing it? [00:20:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:15] Speaker B: What a waste of time and effort. Honestly. Actually, like, no, God's called us. Maybe somebody did wrong us. [00:20:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:22] Speaker B: But our responsibility is actually to walk in forgiveness. [00:20:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:27] Speaker B: And to extend the forgiveness that we have received freely to other people. [00:20:32] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Who. Who are we to withhold forgiveness when God is freely forgiven us all things even before we ever said sorry? And so I think that's why it's so important not to wait for an apology, but to actually just to be aware and to be reminded of the forgiveness we've received so that we can extend that to others. I think that's really, really important. [00:20:58] Speaker B: Yeah. That's so good. Okay. Practically, let's get really practical for a minute because I think when it comes to having hard conversations with people, I think there is a tendency, like you said before, where we can get in patterns of relationships and we don't have these conversations because we're afraid of vulnerability. [00:21:17] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:18] Speaker B: So how then us. What do you think are some helpful ways to approach having those hard conversations in order to get us over hurdle of vulnerability and to hit the conversations and ways that are healthy and Christ like. [00:21:32] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, great. I think there's so many things I think. I think it's important to acknowledge the vulnerability is hard and that there is the potential for rejection in the midst of that. But I think we. It creates a safe space for the other person to be vulnerable as well. [00:21:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:56] Speaker A: So practically, I would say, yeah, like go into things first and foremost. Go into it with prayer. [00:22:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:03] Speaker A: Have like pray before, if you know, okay, I need to have a conference, confrontation conversation. Then ask the Lord to prepare your heart for it. Go in willing to be tender and lay your insecurities at the door. And if that takes, you know, a long time in prayer, so be it. [00:22:23] Speaker B: You know, spend that time. [00:22:25] Speaker A: Spend the time and work it out with. With the Lord in your heart. Like, read scripture, get yourself into the right place, because the last thing you want is to walk into a difficult conversation emotionally charged. And what I mean by that is I'm still reeling from what you said to me. So therefore I'm gonna react rather than give a measured response. Wow. Rather than step in and speak something that is true and honest and cultivates connection and community. But I'm gonna just, you know, throw my emotions at you. [00:23:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:00] Speaker A: So that'd be my first thing. Come in with prayer and check. Check your emotions. The next thing I would say would be, it's kind of tied into that, but like not bringing assumption and getting perspective. Yeah. And asking God, is there something that you know, that I don't see? And not projecting, oh, this person must be hurt because they're hurting me. Not projecting, but asking, holy Spirit, is there something that I don't see in this that I need to see? [00:23:29] Speaker B: That's so good. [00:23:31] Speaker A: Yeah. I could go a couple more, but I feel like I want to hear from you, too. [00:23:34] Speaker B: Yeah. No, I think everything I love and echo everything that you say. I think the way that we approach these conversations and our heart posture behind it is the game changer. And it almost sets the tone for how you're going to have the conversation. [00:23:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:49] Speaker B: I think over time I've realized, like, having. They're called hard conversations because they're hard. [00:23:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:55] Speaker B: They're never necessarily going to be super easy because it is vulnerability that you are encountering, but I think your heart posture coming into it. If you see and understand that these hard conversations are actually for the purpose of connection, then you're going to come in from a place of humility rather than pointing fingers. [00:24:17] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:17] Speaker B: Because if I come in still full of emotion and reacting, I'm more likely. And from the perspective that, oh, man, this conversation is going to be hard and I'm going to offend that person if I come in like that. It is only going to. It's coming from a place of. Of pointing fingers, of judgment of, you did this. And I'm seeking validation for how I feel. [00:24:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:39] Speaker B: Rather than I'm coming in in humility, full of prayer, not emotion, but I'm coming in to seek connection and understanding. To seek, hey, did I perceive this wrong? Was this your intention? Is this something we need to have a conversation about? And I need to receive correction because I think sometimes we can be like, I'm offended, so therefore they did something wrong. But actually it could be I'm offended because I've actually done something wrong and I've actually crossed a boundary. And so I'm perceiving that there's something is ruptured in our relationship. But I need to come with that heart to understand. [00:25:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:19] Speaker B: And say, hey, like, I'm really. I'm willing to own whatever I need to own as well. But, hey, this is how I feel. Can you meet me here and can we move forward from this place in connection? [00:25:31] Speaker A: That's really, really good. So you're. You're literally setting the temperature. Yes. Of the conversation. And I think in that you've. You've given me a few extra pointers, I think it's important to acknowledge that offense is an emotion. Yes. And we're not called to be controlled by our emotions. Yeah. But it's. It's an alarm bell. It's an alert on the dash that says something's wrong. Yeah. So offend. Being offended is common to man, but it's not. Doesn't make it right. Doesn't make it good. But it. It should be an alarm for us. Okay. Why Asking those why questions and walking in to conversations that way, Also acknowledging the right moment. And, you know, if we say someone's having a horrible day, is that. Is that the right moment? [00:26:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:16] Speaker A: If they've had a busy day at work, and as soon as they walk in the door, it's your housemate or your husband or your child or whatever, and you're like, can't believe you did this. Like, you know, I keep using those. We're not talking like that. But you say, hey, I. You know, I really. I'm really upset that you left the dishes undone, but they've just walked in. They just had a stressful day. Is that the right moment? [00:26:36] Speaker B: Probably not. [00:26:38] Speaker A: And then also language. Yeah. Yeah. I feel hurt. I feel unseen. When you do. [00:26:46] Speaker B: Yes. [00:26:46] Speaker A: And it's the kind of language that is not projecting, but is acknowledging your part. [00:26:52] Speaker B: Yes. So you're not pointing a finger and saying that you are lazy or you did this and. Or like, kind of like. Yeah, you're. What you're acknowledging is the behavior, not the person. [00:27:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:07] Speaker B: Like you're pointing a finger at, hey, this particular thing, the way that you did this made me feel this way. [00:27:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:14] Speaker B: And it would actually help me, first of all, help me understand is there something I've done, or can you help me understand maybe why you did this? And then it would actually help me if we did it this way or if you could do it this way. So almost giving them a handle for how to not do it again or, like reframe it. [00:27:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:36] Speaker B: If that makes sense. [00:27:38] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:27:39] Speaker A: That's really, really good. Yeah. [00:27:41] Speaker B: Because I think as well, like, again, for me, these conversations always come back to your heart, posture, and how you approach them. [00:27:47] Speaker A: Definitely. [00:27:47] Speaker B: Just because if you go in with a clear goal of connection, that's how everything you will frame, like will. Will flow out of that place. [00:27:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:57] Speaker B: It's coming in from humility and seeking to understand, listening, not making assumptions. And. Yeah. So then your language will be received. Like the way that you. The way that you speak will be laced in humility. [00:28:14] Speaker A: Yes. That's so good. I love that. [00:28:18] Speaker B: And then they will feel that. [00:28:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:20] Speaker B: And they're not going to feel like you're, you know, throwing fisticuffs, trying to, you know, have a fight with them. [00:28:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:25] Speaker B: But you're actually. Your heart is for connection. [00:28:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:28] Speaker B: If they feel that it disarms any, it helps disarm the offense that they may feel in that moment. [00:28:33] Speaker A: Yes. Yep. [00:28:34] Speaker B: And so that's why it is important that we come with love and humility. Yeah. [00:28:39] Speaker A: Yeah. Because people are going to meet us where we're at. Foundational. If I could just leave us with a couple of final pointers. I. I heard this in a podcast I listened to probably five years ago, and it is really struck me and stayed with me to absolute, I think was rules of life that this guy personally had, and they were to keep short accounts and to always give the benefit of the doubt. [00:29:07] Speaker B: So. Good. [00:29:07] Speaker A: Keep short accounts simply means that as soon as possible, I am approaching you. Emily, if you. If you've wronged me, I'm not holding onto it for three weeks and being like, oh, by the way, last month when you did that thing, it hurt me. That's not helpful. But I'm keeping a short account. I'm not keeping a record of your wrongs. Yeah. And to give the benefit of the doubt, and I think that's what encompassed everything that you've been saying, is to go in humility. What am I not saying? [00:29:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:35] Speaker A: What am I not seeing that has resulted in this outcome that we're now facing? And I think that that sums up a lot of healthy communication. Obviously, it's a lot. A lot bigger than what we've shared today, but we hope that those points have really helped you guys, that it's given some perspective, some biblical foundation and framework. Yeah. To cultivate the best kind of relationships that we can have. Friendships, romantic relationships, family relationships. To love one another as we're called to in Christ. [00:30:08] Speaker B: Yeah. It's so good. We pray that this blesses you. And if there are any specific, maybe tools or even topics within communication that you guys want to hear more of, please come and speak to Pastor Jess. And we would love to. Yeah. Get some other people some more wisdom in these areas to equip us all to continue to communicate well and represent Christ in every area of our lives. In relationships and in communication. [00:30:35] Speaker A: I love that. Yep. And we are communicating to you because we love you so. [00:30:39] Speaker B: Amen. [00:30:40] Speaker A: Hope you've enjoyed this communication. Know that it is not one sided and if you would like to give any feedback or have a chat with us as Emily said, please do. [00:30:47] Speaker B: We won't be offended. [00:30:48] Speaker A: We won't be offended. Tell us that what we said was wrong. But yeah, we will see you guys real soon. [00:30:56] Speaker B: Yes, we love you. Bless you. [00:30:57] Speaker A: Bye Sam.